Day Three

After reading the sentence of what I have to write (even if it is not an obligation, but that’s must right? well anyway lets continue); it was easy what I was going to do. What I need to forgive myself it’s the fact that I was not the one to blame of what happened to Santiago, his diagnosis is not my fault, this things happen. Even I could had been able to resist the pain when I was on labor until the morning that wouldn’t assure me that nothing wouldn’t had happened to him. Yeah! I need to forgive myself for that.

I also need to forgive myself for the fact that came before that one; the fact that I didn’t listen to that voice that said “STOP THIS”, because what is done is done and because of not listening I have the beautiful kids that I have now.

I really think those are the most important factors in my life that I need to forgive myself for besides from the fact of deciding to move to Mexico to study a major that I didn’t study or for liking boys at the age that I started or for liking them at all. Or the fact that I am the way I am that most of the times causes so much trouble. And now that I’m keeping writing I guess I need to forgive myself for those days that the witch inside me came out of the closset and showed herself to my kids in such terrible manner. Lets start over and leave that in the past.

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~ by Montsserrat on February 5, 2011.

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