twenty fifth day of truth

On this twenty fifth day of truth it says that I should write about what do I think is the reason why I’m still alive today. Truth be told I don’t really know and I say this because once in my life I decided to take it away, but I failed doing it and how did I fail you may ask; well I started thinking, that I was alone with my kids and my mom was not going to arrive anytime soon, so how could I do this to them……….The answer, I couldn’t. I’m still I guess because of them.

Now I know that doesn’t matter how grey the day is or how bad things are going; life is still great, amazing and there is always a tomorrow for the sun to shine all over me again.

My kids are my life, but they are not the only thing in my life; I have me too, I have all the things I’m doing, all the things I am meant to do.

I’m still alive because in fact I haven’t done “THE THING” “WHAT MATTERS”, I haven’t done enough.

I haven’t find the opportunity to let people I’m here you know

I haven’t had the chance to let someone love me and love him with all my heart

I had sex, but I haven’t made love yet. I want to hear some kind of fireworks.

I haven’t had the chance to have a relationship and going the distance. Sometimes I wonder if maybe I’m to picky, if maybe the reason why it hasn’t happened it’s because I love…….love……love easy and right away, I give myself in, I don’t know maybe it’s simple. I haven’t met him, but you know I really think that I’m like that song that says “I haven’t met him yet but I know him by heart” That’s exactly how I feel, so if you hear me once say that I won’t find him, that I gave up; that in fact is a big fat lie. I know he is out there waiting for me to be ready for him. (BTW)

I haven’t done a lot of things, not yet at least so I guess because of that and more I’m still here, I’m still alive


~ by Montsserrat on February 7, 2011.

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